LOVE

Has anyone, or at least someone, at the age of around 18-20 tried to define the meaning of love? I thought I use to understand the meaning of love, however the year in NTNU(National Taiwan Normal University) caused a drastic change in my view about love.



I do admit I have a past of my own, however, during that period of time, I have to face idiots that ask me, "are you sure you want to be with her forever? Won't you want to be with other girls?" Or they might tell me, "you two won't last long, even if you say you love each other." I really want to scream at them, because these idiots thought that since they are older than me, they have the rights to give comments on our relationship, they even reach a stage where they are actually reprimanding me! What is this? one of them even got ditched by his girlfriend, who gives him the right to look down at our relationship. Do they treat love as a game? or they simply don't want to see others to be happy? I have a lot of stress at that point of time due to the school works, and they are adding on the stress level. Why do I have to deal with all this? Is it because I have a girlfriend that pissed some of them(this is a fact), or I am not good enough to please those idiots?



I tried to forgot the past, however, it is really impossible. Many would tell me time will heal everything, but four months have past and time only make some of the pains fade away. Although I am not as sad as I were four months ago, but I am in mess now. How am I going to "define" the past one year in NTNU, almost three quarter of it is filled with her, and some of the things that happens nowadays keep making me recall that piece of memory. I really can't tell whether this love is a blessing to me or a disaster for me... I tried my best to satisfy her needs and requirements, I even exhausted my last bit of strength to protect her, but I must admit that I did hurt her deeply due to the fact that she and the others are giving me an amount of pressure that I can no longer withstand. I am the one who is willing to clean up the mess that she created, willing to accept all her bad habits and her temper, but why I felt that I am so stupid to do all these.... she did not force me to do all these, and why I am still so concern with all these that happened in the past. I guess I had found the reason for that. I ruined my year in NTNU which should have a happy ending, I did not put all my attention on my study which disappointed my mum, I have to deal with all the negative emotions that she and the others are giving me. I give all that I could, and in return she said that I am not protecting her mentally.



Is it always true that the love we have during the age of around 20 is always considered as puppy love? I don't treat love just a game, because if I do that, I am wasting my own time and her time.

Why do I write this essay? Because I want to let all my anger out at once so that I need not keep this in my mind and be sad about it, and this essay is dedicated to those idiots that I am mentioning, especially Mr Wong!!!!! you know who I am talking about! I am so sorry to post such informal and emotional essay, but I just can't take it anymore!