depressed...again!!!

I know, I know, life should not be such a misery, it should be full of joy and everything will be much better when the next day come. Just finished a fun and exciting birthday celebration for one of our dear classmate, but, I just don't know why I started feeling down again. The party is really fun, I guess it is the problem with myself. I am now trying hard to surpress some of my feelings and memories in order to let myself to get back to the normal life I used to have before entering NTNU. I know that this might sound weird to you as you might think I am a bit crazy or maybe out of mind. Honestly saying, I am really not feeling well, the more I try to surpress these feelings, the more exhuasted I get, and it's really difficult to erase away memory and rooted deep into my mind. I need time, in fact a lot of time before I can get better, I would love to find a "cure" that can make the curing process faster, but the "cure" I found is something that I can't afford take, at least for now...... Am I being too childish?..... sometime I would ask myself this question...... I don't want to see myself keep on falling like this, I really hope that something can appear one day and make my life better, I really wish for that.